Red Brick Cafe, Guelph, ON

Drink Selection – 2/5 – They had all the staples, but again there was just the option to “add flavour shot” and you had to pick. After a peek behind the counter, I saw that their flavour shots were Monin brand. There is no escape. I wanted a pumpkin spice latte, as I am on the hunt for the perfect one, but chose not to go with a flavoured latte at all and got a flavoured coffee instead (which isn’t flavoured by syrups). As I left I wondered if I should have made the sacrifice and got a Monin flavoured latte again simply to add to the growing body of evidence that Monin sucks. They also offer craft beer, but the café closes at 5pm – not sure how many people are ordering beer in the middle of the afternoon but I suppose it happens. With every new café I visit looking for interesting drink menu options or seasonal drink items I wonder why everyone in Guelph seems allergic to that concept. Did some café business guru go around advising all the cafes that it’s not a profitable endeavour? Did the passion for interesting coffee beverages die in the hearts of every café owner? Is there a café curse on this city? Is this a conspiracy concocted by Monin? For now the mystery remains unsolved.

Drink Quality – 2/5 – I got a cinnamon hazelnut coffee with cream. It was drinkable, but no better or worse than standard gas station flavoured coffee. If I was in a pinch and wanted a coffee it’s fine, but not something I would seek out again.

Snack Selection – 3/5 – They have a small selection of baked goods, but a larger selection of more savoury snacks and meals. Their savoury menu items look good, but nothing to write home about.

Snack Quality – 4/5 – I got a cinnamon roll croissant which was great! Tasted like cinnamon, had a good amount of icing, yet was still flaky and light and just the right amount of sweet.

Overall Vibes – 4/5 – Has some nice cozy vibes, which really suits the old building it’s in.

Further notes – I had high hopes for red brick, but it stands out as neither fantastic nor laughably bad. It’s just a pretty typical café. It was fine. If I was in the area and wanted a snack I would visit again, but for now I’m not going out of my way to make this “my spot”. It also has the Bad Café Smell™, which I have noticed in one other café that sells more meal-type foods. The whole shop smells like how my work shirt would smell after a long shift at Starbucks – like old coffee. But mixed with the smell of old frying oil or something. Another café in town also smells like this and it sticks to your clothes and I hate it.

Overall rating – 3/5